Jun 26 2008
worried…
today i’m worried. about what? something that won’t happen for another 7 or 8 months.
i’m worried about the first day little man goes to pre-school.
little man’s transition packet came in th email yesterday, detailing everything that the school district is obligated to provide him due to his hearing loss. it even has a little book about everything a parent should be asking, thinking, considering, etc. just flipping through the pages, and i’m freaked.
i know this will be wonderful for him. it’ll be like daycare, but with other children with hearing loss, activities focusing on getting him to talk, and saturating him with language. i’m excited for that. i know when he’s put into a classroom like this, he’s going to advance quickly and start talking more and more, and what a wonderful benefit it will be for him.
but i’m still worried.
i’m worried, because i don’t have a way to explain to him what’s going to happen. i can sit him down and tell him aall sorts of stuff. i can even use sign language to explain it to him. but i know in my heart of hearts, the little man won’t understand what’s going on. one morning, i’m going to strap him into a carseat of a stranger’s car/bus, and they’re going to drive with him for 45 mins to a place he’s never been before, with people he doesn’t recognize, and he’s going to be very confused. and he’s going to be very frustrated. and he’s going to be very scared. and i don’t have a way to explain to him that it’s going to be okay. that he’s going to come back home. and that he will eventually LIKE to go there and see his classmates and his teachers. and that he’s going to learn SO much while he’s there.
i just wish i had a way to tell him.
for now, i’ll just snuggle and hold him, tell him i love him, and hope that will be enough for today.
9 Responses to “worried…”
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Did they send you a directory or a class list? Maybe you can contact other new kids and see if you can put together a playdate. That way he’d know, even if only a little bit, some of the other kids that are starting school with him.
As a mom, I understand your concerns and fears. Remember, though, that he will go through a lot of maturing in the next few months. His communication skills are improving all the time…and quickly. He’ll probably surprise you with what he’s able to comprehend.
I’ll keep him and you and your dh in my prayers.
How well I recognize that worry! Letting your child go in that way is always so hard. Part of the lot of motherhood even in the best of circumstances. My mother once told me that one day when she was holding newborn me that she realized that I would never be more her own than at that moment. That from then on would be a series of “letting go’s”….first steps, first school, first dates…until finally I would be grown and she would face the ultimate “letting go” of all. She was right.
And now as a fifty-something mom myself of mostly grown children I could say the same worries about my grown children as you said about little man…
“I’m worried that I can’t explain to them what is going to happen in the wonderful adventure called marriage and parenthood…I could sit them down and tell them all sorts of stuff but I know in my heart of hearts that they won’t understand until they’ve lived it. They will be confused and scared and frustrated and I don’t have a way to explain that it will all be okay. So I hug them and love them and be with them and hope it is enough.”
Don’t you hate it when someone uses your own words against you?
Eventually you get the point where I was 2 weeks ago, where you are sitting in a chair watching your once-upon-a-time little boy pledge his life to a beautiful girl in a white dress. And you realize even though you’ve known for the last 25 years you were working yourself out of a job, that this it. This is the moment when your job is done and you must release him to make his own way. Always loving, always worrying, always trusting that it will be okay.
Nancy (a.k.a. AuntMartha on Ravelry)
Ohhhh, Meghan. I sympathize with your concerns.
Are you going to have a day when you will go with him to the school first so that he can get excited about it? You could call it his “NEW school” so that he’ll know the difference. Will he meet the person driving him to his new school beforehand? I assume these people know how little ones react when they are going someplace new, away from Mommy and Daddy. I would expect them to be sensitive. Could you pack a special treat bag for him for the road trip there? A special bag with surprises for when he “rides the bus” to his new school? Perhaps show him the bag filled with goodies… maybe give him just one of the goodies so he’d know how great the bag will be when he rides the bus! I don’t mean goodies to eat, but special, little treasures to hold and play with. Or maybe you could even have one special little treasure to put in his treasure bag every day for a while until he makes the adjustment. Maybe it could be a new, little toy ( a Matchbox CAR, perhaps? 
), a “magical” wand with glitter and stars inside that flow slowly up and down the tube (have you seen those?), a little action figure, etc. Stuff that will take some of the attention off of him being separated from you. The treasure bag can go in his cubby when he gets to school (make sure he understands that) and is for the bus ride only – or for when they are allowed to play with their things at the school. I would think that the school itself would be distraction enough, so that once he actually gets there, he’d be okay. Hope some of these ideas help and will ease the transition… for both of you. 
Blessings,
Mrs. P.
I teach three and four year olds in Head Start – so most of those little ones come to me on a school bus. I am not a mother myself, yet, and I always wonder what it must be like to put your three year old on a bus and let them go…
When those kids get to school, though, it only takes minutes for them zero in on the TOYS!!! And most of them adjust to the routine we set up within days.
Our school always has an open house before the first day so the kids can meet the teachers and see their classroom. We also do “home visits” before school begins, so I meet them in their home first thing. I’m sure Owen’s teachers would be happy to set up a meeting with your family if that isn’t something they already do!
Transitions….sometimes SO overwhelming.
But, one way to possibly ease the fear of unknown is to see if there is an orientation before school starts. Little ones coming to kindergarten usually have one, so this is a variation of that program. Also, most districts have an ESY (extended school year) program and perhaps you could visit with Owen. It isn’t always quite the same as the regular school year program, but it would give you both some idea. I know that many of our EI teachers call the parents of the children that are entering the program. And last, but not least, ask for a meeting with the teacher and speech therapist, and other support staff. They might say no, but most will be willing. It is always easier to have a parent as a friend!
It is a big step but by December, you won’t think twice!
Diane (greyhound96)
Just don’t forget how surprisingly resilient all children are and how they are inclined to surprise and amaze you. You talk about that often, and it is very well it will happen at pre-school. Children just love to strive and be bigger than they are and
they get a thrill out of their own accomplishments. I know that this is not foremost in your thoughts just now, but don’t forget it, especially on the first day, OK? Before you are even ready, you will be at pre-school graduation.
I’m not a mom so I don’t know how serious you’ll take my comments but I will tell you the first couple of things that come to my mind.
Children are pretty tough. A lot tougher than they look. Also, children across the nation do what little man is about to do. He also won’t be the only one in his class that won’t know anyone. Yes, it will be hard for you and him at first but this is just another step into becoming more independent of one another.
Meghan,
Can you take him to visit the school and meet the teachers before his first day? That would help a lot, at least it would be familiar to him. My kids are now 9 and 6, but every daycare and/or preschool that they’ve gone to, we’ve been able to transition them in slowly.
It’s totally natural to worry, we all do it!
~Diane