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Aug 28 2008

a rough day…

Published by Meghan at 4:26 pm under Babble

today was a hard day for me. well it was hard at the end. i had my first meeting where i do all the talking and facilitate us writing up a plan for a child. this family i hadn’t met before because it was a transfer file as they just moved here. i went in expecting a little boy with speech delays and some possible hearing loss due to chronic ear infections. this was not the case, he had more stuff going on, and needs to see a medical professional to figure out what’s going on. i managed the meeting as well as i could. we were there for 2 hours, and still need to go back again because we need more evaluations done. i went back to the office, input the information i needed to get in, went out to my car, and cried…. my heart aches for him. i just can’t imagine how frustrated he is, and unfortunately, it’s all i could think about. i came home and cried, and fortunately ry was here to hug me and tell me that he’ll be okay…that i’m going to help him. that i’m going to help him get the help he needs to succeed. i was mad at myself for feeling so compassionate and being so emotionally raw and wasn’t sure i could handle the job because of it. but ry told me that’s what makes me meghan. and that if i saw the little guy on the street i would feel the same way. but fortunately because of this job, i’m in a position to help that family. and help that little boy and his family. and see how much he improves over the next year or so as a result. and he’s right. i can help. and i will help. i just can’t help crying for him. i wish i could scoop him up and tell him everything is going to be okay. but i guess i’ll let his mom and dad do that. for now, i’m going to snuggle my little boy and maybe if i’m lucky, he’ll give me some kisses.

5 responses so far

5 Responses to “a rough day…”

  1. Nathalieon 28 Aug 2008 at 6:10 pm

    Oh Meghan…I am so sorry.

    Sometimes being in the place you’re supposed to be is hard.

    I firmly believe that you are where God intends you to be. You bring compassion and personal experience into that job…a rare combination and bonus for the people you come in contact with.

    Hang in there, sweetie.

    :::hugs:::

  2. Jan Melcheron 29 Aug 2008 at 5:50 am

    I would be much more concerned if you hadn’t cried over that poor child, and the next child, and the next. When you quit crying you become less of a support for those you help. Children with birth defects are special gifts, they teach us so many lessons if only we listen. You are blessed not only to learn the lessons from Little Man, but also from those who you will help through your job.

  3. AuntMarthaon 29 Aug 2008 at 7:13 am

    Wow. You have an amazing husband. He didn’t discount your feelings or pat you on the head or tell you that you are being silly. He helped you deal with the pain you were feeling and totally affirmed who you are as a compassionate, capable professional. Kudos to Ry and I second what he said.

  4. Christineon 30 Aug 2008 at 11:09 am

    Well, you’ll never be able to help every kid as much as you would like, but after a while I think it will be easier to “see” how things are going to get better for the families. Like, you’ll be able to look back at successes and say, “This girl reminds me so much of Kelly– remember how we were so worried about her? But Kelly did so well and came so far, so if we are patient with this girl she may have success, too.” Does that make sense? I don’t know if I’m explaining what I mean very well.

    And Ryan is right about how your compassion is part of what makes you Meghan. Keep letting him support you like that, and you will be fine!

  5. Laurenon 31 Aug 2008 at 7:36 pm

    It will be tough but you know you’ll be so much happier in a job that does good in the world. It’s why I love being a teacher, even though it’s really tough some days.